lunes, diciembre 07, 2009

This week wasn't quite as glum as you thought...

Happy dead week everyone.
All is not lost.

sábado, diciembre 05, 2009


TEN days left of school for this semester!!!


and then a Whole Month of Break!!!!
mmmm, break...

lunes, noviembre 30, 2009

a goober

hacked my account just to say Happy Birthday to me!


The Lord, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

viernes, noviembre 13, 2009

on the One Child policy in China

How do you speak about the unspeakable? You can't. And I don't really have a lot I can say about this article from the Washington Times this week except that the truth of what's happening to women and infants in China needs to be known. (Also, I have never been so angry at the current US administration as I was when I read this article and considered that there was even a possibility that they would remain silent about this in their relations with China. It is mindbogglingly disappointing.)

There were at least two articles on this topic in the Washington Times this week and, trust me, this is the less graphic one; but be forewarned that it still mentions some horrible and tragic things.
And lastly, it's that much more horrible now that I actually know some women from this land, and then realize that in their home country this is happening to women in the thousands, but more likely millions, around them.
Oh God, bring justice to the oppressed.

DUIN: Obama silent on One Child policy - Washington Times

jueves, noviembre 12, 2009

sometimes one must just pray

what the Breton Fishermen did:

Protect me oh Lord, Your sea is so great, and my boat is so small!

But then too, I remember what another poet said of the sea:

If I ascend to heaven, You are there.
If I make my bed in Sheol, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there Your hand shall lead me,
and Your right hand shall hold me!

Amen, Lord! May I remember still that even in the great sea You've never lost one soul that was Yours.
And You aren't going to loose one tonight.

lunes, noviembre 02, 2009

and *after* all else fails???

oh, y'know... change the background.


jueves, octubre 22, 2009

and when all else fails

put a picture up of puff the magic dragon

miércoles, octubre 14, 2009


I am SO still alive!

betcha'd began to wonder...


miércoles, septiembre 23, 2009


Spurgeon talking about the father in Mark 9:22 who said, if thou canst do anything, have compassion on us, and help us:

Now there was an “if” in the question, but the poor trembling father had put the “if” in the wrong place: Jesus Christ, therefore, without commanding him to retract the “if,” kindly puts it in its legitimate position. “Nay, verily,” he seemed to say, “there should be no ‘if’ about my power, nor concerning my willingness, the ‘if’ lies somewhere else.” “If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth." ...
We, like this man, often see that there is an “if” somewhere, but we are perpetually blundering by putting it in the wrong place. “If” Jesus can help me—“if” he can give me grace to overcome temptation—“if” he can give me pardon—“if” he can make me successful?
Nay, “if” you can believe, he both can and will. You have misplaced your “if.”

True words, Mr. Spurgeon. True indeed. No more 'ifs' about my Lord tonight.

lunes, septiembre 14, 2009


 Christ the Lord is risen today, Alleluia!
Earth and heaven in chorus say, Alleluia!
Raise your joys and triumphs high, Alleluia!
Sing, ye heavens, and earth reply, Alleluia!

Love's redeeming work is done, Alleluia!
Fought the fight, the battle won, Alleluia!
Death in vain forbids him rise, Alleluia!
Christ has opened paradise, Alleluia!

Lives again our glorious King, Alleluia!
Where, O death, is now thy sting? Alleluia!
Once he died our souls to save, Alleluia!
Where's thy victory, boasting grave? Alleluia!

Soar we now where Christ has led, Alleluia!
Following our exalted Head, Alleluia!
Made like him, like him we rise, Alleluia!
Ours the cross, the grave, the skies, Alleluia!

Hail the Lord of earth and heaven, Alleluia!
Praise to thee by both be given, Alleluia!
Thee we greet triumphant now, Alleluia!
Hail the Resurrection, thou, Alleluia!

King of glory, soul of bliss, Alleluia!
Everlasting life is this, Alleluia!
Thee to know, thy power to prove, Alleluia!
Thus to sing, and thus to love, Alleluia!

-Charles Wesley

miércoles, septiembre 09, 2009

credit goes to wikipedia for the pics...

but all credit goes to God for coming up with sleep in the first place...

pretty, isn't it?

g'night :)

martes, septiembre 08, 2009

reworded by Jon Foreman...

Heavenly father
You always amaze me
Let your kingdom come in my world
And in my life

You give me the food I need
To live through today
Forgive me as I forgive
The people that wrong me

Lead me far from temptation
Deliver me from the evil one

I look out the window
The birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune
Or out of place

I walk to the meadow
And stare at the flowers
Better dressed then any girl
On her wedding day

So why should I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need!

Your love is strong

The kingdom of the heavens
Is now advancing
Invade my heart
Invade this broken town
The kingdom of the heavens
Is buried treasure
Would you sell yourself
To buy the one you've found

Two things you told me
That you are strong and you love me
Yes, you love me

Your love is strong

Our God in heaven
Hallowed be thy name above all names
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us today our daily bread
Forgive us weary sinners
Keep us far away from our vices
Deliver us from these prisons

lunes, agosto 31, 2009

your Spurgeon for the day

from Morning and Evening

Morning, August 31

“On mine arm shall they trust.”
Isaiah 51:5

In seasons of severe trial, the Christian has nothing on earth that he can trust to, and is therefore compelled to cast himself on his God alone. When his vessel is on its beam-ends, and no human deliverance can avail, he must simply and entirely trust himself to the providence and care of God. Happy storm that wrecks a man on such a rock as this! O blessed hurricane that drives the soul to God and God alone! There is no getting at our God sometimes because of the multitude of our friends; but when a man is so poor, so friendless, so helpless that he has nowhere else to turn, he flies into his Father’s arms, and is blessedly clasped therein! When he is burdened with troubles so pressing and so peculiar, that he cannot tell them to any but his God, he may be thankful for them; for he will learn more of his Lord then than at any other time. Oh, tempest-tossed believer, it is a happy trouble that drives thee to thy Father! Now that thou hast only thy God to trust to, see that thou puttest thy full confidence in him. Dishonor not thy Lord and Master by unworthy doubts and fears; but be strong in faith, giving glory to God. Show the world that thy God is worth ten thousand worlds to thee. Show rich men how rich thou art in thy poverty when the Lord God is thy helper. Show the strong man how strong thou art in thy weakness when underneath thee are the everlasting arms. Now is the time for feats of faith and valiant exploits. Be strong and very courageous, and the Lord thy God shall certainly, as surely as he built the heavens and the earth, glorify himself in thy weakness, and magnify his might in the midst of thy distress. The grandeur of the arch of heaven would be spoiled if the sky were supported by a single visible column, and your faith would lose its glory if it rested on anything discernible by the carnal eye. May the Holy Spirit give you to rest in Jesus this closing day of the month.

lunes, agosto 24, 2009

When wickedness increases...

Psalm 36

To the choirmaster. Of David, the servant of the LORD.
1Transgression speaks to the wicked
deep in his heart;
there is no fear of God
before his eyes.
2 For he flatters himself in his own eyes
that his iniquity cannot be found out and hated.
3The words of his mouth are trouble and deceit;
he has ceased to act wisely and do good.
4He plots trouble while on his bed;
he sets himself in a way that is not good;
he does not reject evil.

5Your steadfast love, O LORD, extends to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the clouds.
6 Your righteousness is like the mountains of God;
your judgments are like the great deep;
man and beast you save, O LORD.

7 How precious is your steadfast love, O God!
The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
8They feast on the abundance of your house,
and you give them drink from the river of your delights.
9For with you is the fountain of life;
in your light do we see light.

10Oh, continue your steadfast love to those who know you,
and your righteousness to the upright of heart!
11Let not the foot of arrogance come upon me,
nor the hand of the wicked drive me away.
12There the evildoers lie fallen;
they are thrust down, unable to rise.

It wasn't in my scheduled reading, but this Psalm became my passage of the morning. I was struck by how David transitions from such horrible depravity at the beginning, to the rapture of "How precious is your steadfast love, O God!" Why these extremes?

For answers I went to The Treasury of David, Spurgeon's masterful compilation of commentary on the Psalms. Here I encountered another surprise. Spurgeon quoted William Sedgwick, a 17th century pastor. And though I knew Sedgwick was commenting on the depravity of his own century, I sensed so many echos of it in our day. Read it for yourself, apply Mr. Sedgwick's words to the 21st century, and see if you can hear the echos too:

This Psalm doth fitly set forth unto us the estate and condition of these times, wherein wickedness increaseth: and so in the former part of the Psalm is a discovery of wickedness, verse 3. And what should we do when there is such wickedness in the earth? In the fifth verse, Thy mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens; and thy faithfulness reacheth unto the clouds. God is gathering up all goodness, mercy, and peace from man to himself; and though there is cruelty, mischief, and wickedness in the world, in the earth, yet there is mercy, truth, and faithfulness in the clouds; and it's good that wisdom, goodness, truth, and righteousness leave the world, and cleave to God, that so we may follow it; and that what goodness, mercy, truth, and faithfulness we formerly enjoyed in man, we may enjoy it in God. And when wickedness increaseth, righteousness increaseth likewise: Thy righteousness is like the great mountains: when the world tears and breaks itself in pieces, then is the righteousness of God a great mountain. Thy judgments are a great deep; when the whole world is become one sea of confusion, then are the judgments of the Lord a great deep, where not only man, but beasts may rest safely. Thou preservest man and beast. And though this time is a time of growing and spreading wickedness in man, yet it is a time of sweetest admiration and love in God; and when men that sin do cry out, O woeful man! they that enjoy God, cry out, O happy man! And though men that live in the earth cry out, O miserable! what times are here? men that live in heaven cry out, How excellent is thy lovingkindness, O God! The Lord makes all things naked and bare, that we only may have him to be our safety.

I can't help but think that I'm going to encounter part of this moral dearth today as I begin graduate school in earnest. For all of their professed wisdom, there is much darkness and wickedness in our universities. Sedgwick said it well, What should we do when there is such wickedness in the earth?

I believe the answer goes back to that contrast that baffled me earlier. Yes, we must look at wickedness, in the earth and in our own hearts, and admit that it is hideous, sinister, and gravely deceptive. But it is David's heart (through Christ) that reacts rightly. When the world is sinking further into the abyss, he doesn't rage against the darkness, he sees that God's love is simply brighter by contrast!! Amidst the surge of wickedness, he is able to exclaim,
How precious is your steadfast love, O God!
The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.

Oh Lord, may I be of the same heart this morning, and in a world of wickedness be able to dwell on your steadfast love today.

martes, agosto 18, 2009

The night is far gone; the day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light.

Romans 13:12

martes, agosto 11, 2009

charm and beauty

So this is the week of Amy and Joshua's wedding - woo! Somehow it seems like a lot of the preparations really are falling into place, there are just so many details that go into such an event!

For example, it seems like there's been an all out multi-week project on getting together the right dresses, shoes, hair, and makeup for the big day (and that's just my and Mom's efforts, I can't imagine all the decisions that Amy has had to make in this area!). And for those of us (like me!) who tend to go with a more quick natural look anyways, this is no small task! Countless trips to various stores, days of experimenting in front of the mirror (where I've practically memorized those hair magazines!), and no end of gels, creams, and sprays later we've arrived at a state of... well, not Hellenic beauty, but at least of satisfaction with how our exterior shall be.

Tonight it was mascara, eye liner, and eye shadow (pale and dark green were a promising combination). But as I ooed and awed over my reflection at the end of the day, somehow the words of King Lemuel's mother came haunting back over me, "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." (Prov 31:30)

Bam. There it is, a straight needle thrust into the big balloon of earthy beauty. And I bet that it burst King Lemuel's bubble on some occasions as well. Here was perhaps a most eligible bachelor on a career path towards a throne, and I'm sure some very lovely ladies crossed his wake during the process. This one had such pretty eyes, and that one, such a sweet winning smile. And when Lemuel's heart began to race, I can just hear his mother's voice sweeping in over his fancies,
"Charm is deceitful, Lemuel, beauty is vain. Don't look at her eyeshadow, son, or that wonderful smile. If that's all you love about her, it will not last. Just a few years and her face will age, and with it all the charm and beauty that you like now so well. But let me tell you, my son, what is a lasting quality you should look for in a wife - godliness, a woman who fears the Lord. Take it from me, that wife will do you good and not harm her whole life."

Phew! We're not told how Lemuel initially swallowed those words, but they're not always easy for me to get my head around either. Against the screams of this culture to be a woman of gels and creams and sprays, a woman of exteriors, King Lemuel's mother shifts the focus in the exact opposite direction. The only kind of woman that ultimately matters is the woman of a certain interior quality - the one who fears God. No curler, or makeup, or hairspray can even touch it.

And amidst these meditations, I do believe there truly are seasons for special adornment. If a wedding is indeed to be a living picture of the great wedding to come (where the bridal party will be resplendent beyond imagination!) then surely it is right for earthy brides and attendants to celebrate with beauty and comeliness.

Yet I hope that this weekend amidst satin and diamonds, and beauty and charm, that the guests come away with something more than just pictures of prettiness. I hope they catch a special glow around the bride and groom that only grace can give. Amy and Joshua are two beautiful people, but the saving grace that surrounds their lives is something more altogether: piercing, dazzling, divinely beautiful.

For that day, as Joshua takes his bride, they will both be God's bride too. And when He looks at His spouse and sees them through Christ, He looks on them with love and His words are immeasurably sweet,
"You are altogether beautiful, my love
there is no flaw in you." (Song of Songs 4:7)

viernes, agosto 07, 2009

from Spurgeon's Faith's Check Book:

Behold, the Lord thy God hath set the land before thee: go up and possess it, as the Lord God of thy fathers hath said unto thee; fear not, neither be discouraged. (Deuteronomy 1:21)

There is a heritage of grace which we ought to be bold enough to win for our possession. All that one believer has gained is free to another. We may be strong in faith, fervent in love, and abundant in labor; there is nothing to prevent it; let us go up and take possession. The sweetest experience and the brightest grace are as much for us as for any of our brethren; Jehovah has set it before us; no one can deny our right; let us go up and possess it in His name.

The world also lies before us to be conquered for the Lord Jesus. We are not to leave any country or corner of it unsubdued. That slum near our house is before us, not to baffle our endeavors, but to yield to them. We have only to summon courage enough to go forward, and we shall win dark homes and hard hearts for Jesus. Let us never leave the people in a lane or alley to die because we have not enough faith in Jesus and His gospel to go up and possess the land. No spot is too benighted, no person so profane as to be beyond the power of grace. Cowardice, begone! Faith marches to the conquest.

miércoles, julio 29, 2009

Goodness, how delicious!

The quality is poor, but the content is good. ;)

let it load and go up to minute 4:15

martes, julio 28, 2009

It's night again, and my mind is working overtime to chase away sleep. I toss and turn, and amidst the inner voices this thought prevails: Life is short.

Honestly, it hurts to face the facts so squarely, but every slip of the hourglass adds urgency to the message. My life right now blossoms with promise, and I am easily moved by both joy and fear for the future. But soon, so soon each scene on the stage will come to an end. For a few seconds the drama will flicker and dance to life, and then it will cease. The wind will blow, and the play and players will be gone.

As I lay in bed trying to compose my brain for sleep, I began to think of the things that this finite life is bringing to a close. "Hey everyone," Jon Foreman says in a song, "I've got nowhere to go/The grave is lazy/He takes our bodies slow..." And this is how I feel some times. Yes, the progress is slow at times, yet what is everything in this life ultimately doing but moving towards the grave? The relationships of today have 24 less hours to live than yesterday. The career that may come in the future is already a week closer to closing than last Monday showed it. The opportunities yet to be grasped are already a year fewer than they were last summer.

And lest I be accused of fatalism, let me assure my readers that I know this isn't the whole story. But tonight this is where the train of thought has taken me. A journey down this mental path that Solomon trod ages ago: the conclusion that life, too, will pass, and "
everything that is to come will be futility" (Ecc 11:8).

So here is my list: things the grave is taking. For
now I have:

a finite number of times to look at the stars, to sneak outside on a cloudy night and listen for wind in the leaves.
a finite number of times to hug my sister.
a finite number of drives to take singing in the car, or praying, or watching the earth rise and fall.
a finite number of licks on the chin from Rosie.
a finite number of coffees to drink, or cups of tea enjoyed with Mom over a good Psalm, or good book, or good life.
a finite number of nights to spend with Ben, watching videos, or playing guitar and ukulele.
a finite number of weddings left to go to in my life.
a finite number of times that I will ever again curl up on a couch and read C.S. Lewis or Jane Austen.
a finite number of songs to listen to with my older brother.
a finite number of times to talk about salvation with my father.
a finite number of inside jokes to share with my boyfriend or smiles to share with my girlfriends.
a finite number of people left for me to tell about the gospel.
a finite number of conversations to have at all.
a finite number of nights to stay awake reading or writing. After tonight - there will be one less.

and yet...

a finite number of days til those same stars give way to the Morning. (II Pet 1:9)
a finite number of hours until the Bridegroom comes. (Rev 19:7)
a finite number of breaths til sorrow flees forever. (Isa 51:11)
and a finite number of moments til futility itself is swallowed in victory. (Rev 19:6)
Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out,

"Hallelujah! For the Lord our God
the Almighty reigns.
Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come!"

Revelation 19

sábado, julio 18, 2009

David's Worthies

If you want to be inspired some time, go to I Chronicles 11. The chronicler is describing David's assent to the throne of Israel, and pauses to recount a list also found in II Sam 23 - David's mighty men. Anyone who thinks that true Christianity produces insipid lives should turn to these rip-roarin' dudes! What a group! Professional commando-lion wrangling-heavyweight defeating champs!

Yet it took Matthew Henry (or M.H. as I sometimes call him) to get me to see that these 'worthies' aren't just locked into some glory days of the past. As the Mighty Men served David, so I should serve David's Son. Ahhh, there's the connection.

So let's dig a little deeper. On the outside, the deeds these men accomplished seem like the stuff of myth. Standing in a barley field and killing 300 Philistines?! Are you serious?? But M.H. reminded me of why these Mighty Men were mighty at all,
"In the wonderful achievements of these heroes the power of God must be acknowledged. How could one slay 300 and another the same number (v. 11, 20), another two lion-like men (v. 22), and another an Egyptian giant (v. 23), if they had not had the extraordinary presence of God with them, according to that promise, Jos. 23:10: One man of you shall chase a thousand, for the Lord your God fighteth for you."

So true. As great as these men were, they were not so much extraordinary men of God, as men of an extraordinary God. Who in their right mind would follow a lion into a pit on a snowy day?! And yet if your great God gives you that strength, then who of the least of the earth couldn't do such great things for Him?

And lastly:
"That which made all these men honourable was the good service that they did to their king and country; they helped to make David king (v. 10)—a good work. They slew the Philistines, and other public enemies, and were instrumental to save Israel.... The way to be great is to do good. Nor did they gain this honour without labour and the hazard of their lives. The honours of Christ's kingdom are prepared for those that 'fight the good fight of faith,' that labour and suffer, and are willing to venture all, even life itself, for Christ and a good conscience.
It is by a patient continuance in well-doing that we must seek for glory, and honour, and immortality; and those that are faithful to the Son of David shall find their names registered and enrolled much more to their honour than these are in the records of fame."

Huzzah! And so it returns back to Christ, who blesses our labors, both the flashy and little patient ones, by sanctifying them to Himself. Today let me be a 'worthy' of Christ, and see what works, great or small, He will design to bring great glory to Him.

lunes, junio 29, 2009


Oh yes, I am still alive... but life in the real world has been so exciting and full that this poor little blog has taken the back burner, as it should when there are mission trips and people getting married all over the place!!

That's right ladies and gents, exactly 4 days 14 hours and 36 minutes from now, my wonderful friend Ginny and her wonderful fiancé Joel will enter the wonders of matrimony. And on Tuesday I get to be there for four whole days leading up to that moment, to cheer them on!! How cool is that?!

But this my dear friends, leaves precious little time for blogging (or much of anything else really) so I'm off to a day of running and rambling and getting the house ready for Mum and Dad who themselves were celebrating matrimonial anniversary by camping this week. Woot!

martes, mayo 26, 2009

breaking blogger news!

go... that way!!

So Carla had the brilliant idea of having a whole group blog, so for the latest updates from the Iowa fivesome please go to

and have a save journey there! :D I may not update here again until I'm back...

domingo, mayo 24, 2009

up, up and away!

Hey all!

I'm off on the RP Missions trip to Iowa and Kansas tomorrow! Me, Lindsay, and Joe fly out bright and early at 9, woo! You can be praying that our flights to Kansas City go well (hopefully the airport lets me take my guitar on board!). This'll be exciting for Lindsay as it's her first time to fly, yeay Lidz!

I'm gonna try to update here when possible of all our adventures (and praps throw some picures up too!) so check back in on occasion!


jueves, mayo 21, 2009

don't worry... I'll get caught up soon...

miércoles, mayo 13, 2009

the morning star

And I will give him the morning star. (Revelation 2:28)

Until the day break and the shadows flee away, what a blessing it is to see in Jesus "the morning star"! I remember when we read in the newspapers the idle tale that the star of Bethlehem had again appeared. On inquiry we found that it was only "the morning star"; but no great mistake had been made after all.

It is best to see Jesus as the sun; but when we cannot do so, the next best thing is to see Him as that star which prophesies the day and shows that the eternal light is near at hand. If I am not today all that I hope to be, yet I see Jesus, and that assures me that I shall one day be like Him. A sight of Jesus by faith is the pledge of beholding Him in His glory and being transformed into His image. If I have not at this hour all the light and joy I could desire, yet I shall have it; for as surely as I see the morning star I shall see the day. The morning star is never far from the sun.

Come, my soul, has the Lord given thee the morning star? Dost thou hold fast that truth, grace, hope, and love which the Lord has given thee? Then in this thou hast the dawn of coming glory. He that makes thee overcome evil, and persevere in righteousness, has therein given thee the morning star.

amen, Mr. Spurgeon, amen.

lunes, mayo 11, 2009


**Web Registered** on May 11, 2009
Introduction To Eng And General Linguistics
Teaching ESL: Theoretical Foundations

I'm PU official!

sábado, mayo 09, 2009

somewhere between rant and plea for restoration...

so honestly... half the time I'm just afraid. Afraid to say what's really on my mind because surely, surely that would always do more harm than good. Frankness should be saved for emergencies. Times when the roof is caving in and I will regret forever holding back that shout while a beam has cut through someone else's spine. Amazing how it always comes back to me isn't it? my regrets, my needs... So let me just stop

right now

and talk about You.

Today You let me rise up again, rested, breathing, alive and whole. Shuffle into the kitchen, and You feed me cereal. Shuffled (so haphazardly, again!) into Your word, and you fed me Christ. It's almost ridiculous when I think about it. Your blood-bought eternal child bumbling along, fondling the things of this world, and so often spurning the colossal diamond, the great throbbing gift of Your love. Are we mad? Are we dithering, demented insane that we reach a pinky finger toward the lifeboat which would rather heave us into itself, mind body and soul?

And yet, it was love I called out for, cross and unsure as I was. I didn't like all this aloneness, this sitting cold in front of Your consuming fire. And so you send Your word... promises, truths, commands, and letters of love. And I thought, "Oh... not for me. Not joy. Not today." It couldn't really have been meant to be taken so... to take You at your word. So, I cried again, "Lord I don't feel it! I'm tired of this dead carcass on the inside!" And You sent your love again... warm and living in Your people. And around me they came, they smiled and laughed, they encouraged and questioned and cared. And my response? Complaint. Simpering. Self-absorbed babble mostly drowning out the living love around me. And so went the day, me wretchedly poor and not knowing it, You, in infinite patience forgiving, quickening, not imputing, carving again that which should have Your stamp already deeply engraved.

And here I am, late again, whiling away the time. Reluctant, like a small child, to go to bed... two decades later, and clenching the same stubbornness. Deep down... terrified because I know what this ending brings. I must look back and see every work done in my own strength, every void of wasted time both piled up - filthy rags, stinking in Your nostrils. But listen heart, should you really loath these bitter herbs? Is not the sweetness following? When all your dingy scaffolding has come down and your little mud castle melts to its true form, what is given to you when your knees finally hit the floor?

Christ. He is your Love. He is the answer to all your insecurities, your debilitating sluggishness, your maniacal self-obsession. Do you have sins? Take them to Christ. Is your existence lifeless and worthless? Come to Him in aching imperfection and watch as the voids are filled.

To delay for one second is a danger, to seek self-cure is psychotic delusion. To fly upward, inward evils and all? that is the one sanity and hope. Come, my soul, drop your wretched resistance, and collapse into what you have been seeking and yet rejecting all along. Rest. Peace. Sanity. Assurance. Kindness and Forgiveness. Graciousness and Compassion. Life. A Second Chance. Faith. Hope. Love.

viernes, mayo 08, 2009

so I changed my background again.

domingo, mayo 03, 2009

nothing but the blood...

For a while now, some friends of mine have been working on a project for their apologetics class, and two of them, Andrew and Trevor, actually made a video out of their work. From the get-go I knew that the interviews conducted in campuses, malls, and churches would be at least interesting, but when I saw them for the first time tonight, I was downright impressed with the work these fellas did. I think that the clips are intriguing, professional, compelling, and true.
And in an age of apathetic thinking, and spineless morals... that's saying something.

First half:

Second half:

lunes, abril 27, 2009

I met these lovely friends

while on a walk

and couldn't help but share them with the rest of the world!

And if you thought that simple violets were enough for enchantment and allure (I sure did!) imagine my surprise when these exquisite specimens caught my eye!

Can you say :-O ?!

This time of year as I pass by swaths of violets or luscious green turf, I can't help thinking over and over again,
Man, when God "so clothes the grass" (Matt 6:30) He
really clothes grass!!!

miércoles, abril 22, 2009

she lives!

And blogs about it too, on occasion!

So yea, a dirth in the virtual world usually means happenings in the real world (or at least my much-too-laziness in the area of blogging). But now here I sit, defying a mountain of glaring dishes to pause and update you about my life... soooo good of me! ;P

It's been a while since a blog of any actually content so to backtrack a little:

1) Yes, I am really and truly going to Purdue this fall! Today they wrote me a big important email requesting my official acceptance and registration and all that (and a lot of other less exciting paper work). But hey! It's a big step into... uh, the future! So here goes!

2) I had a rather fabulous weekend at the OY conference this weekend. Listening to the conference talks and applying them in evangelism would've made the weekend by themselves. But add to that working with a dear friend as co-cook (where we got to design pizzas - haHA!), staying up 'til stupid-o'clock for wonderful fellowship, and being broadsided by how simple it is to share the gospel sometimes, and how much I need to be sharing it... what a wonderful time it was!!

Even when after this lovely time, the week just seemed to continue in loveliness. I got to go ice skating for the second time ever and closely acquainted myself with several good ways in which to contact the ground... :P But it was a blast and good exercise too and it made me ponder the possibilities of a Texan really being able to propel themselves forward on a frozen surface.
So yea, somehow the beginning of the week crept up on me again, and I'm launched into subbing to do, emails to send, and dishes (still!) to wash. And on top of the list of normal to-do's there's helping 'bridesmaid' in two weddings, and preparing for the fast approaching Israel trip (have I told y'all that I'm going on a mission trip to Israel??? I should've worked that in somewhere...).

But somehow this week I've just looked around and saw within the responsibilities what I should see all the time - loads, piles, and mountains of blessing.

Oh Lord, I have it so good... may it all point me back to You.

and spring is here

and cabbage feels springy along with it...

martes, abril 14, 2009

change of color

So I'd like to announce a change of color, or perhaps just a fresh theme, something new to go with the old.

So on top of the pervasive red that has floated before my eyes for four years...
I will be seeing black and gold this fall

along with gathering skills that enable me to... make... boilers???

catch ya in the neighborhood

sábado, abril 11, 2009

Did Rachel die during the tax year 2008?

why no... she did not!

I thought it was great that I had gone through half of the tax form before I got to this question... go figure. But it's kindof nice for the state of Indiana to ask all the same. The cold-hearted federal tax form never bothered, if memory served. As I see it, if you don't get much of a return and you have to do your taxes anyways, you might as well enjoy some of the thought flow of a tax form as you go through it:

Hey you, what's your Name?!
School District of Residence!¡!¡
oh yeah...
are you dead by any chance??

Mmm, not yet, praise God.
Life... it is good.

miércoles, abril 08, 2009


So here I sit, and it's magically past one... again. Oh for the days when I had the excuse of school for such shenanigans....

I actually don't miss being in school at all!

sábado, abril 04, 2009


one play
mucho Starbucks
five monsters
three parks
lots of dishes
two puppy walks
a Gothic chapel
and several card games later...

man was it a good week!

viernes, marzo 27, 2009

Pied Beauty

by Gerard Manley Hopkins

Glory be to God for dappled things—
For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;
For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;
Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches' wings;
Landscape plotted and pieced—fold, fallow, and plough;
And All trades, their gear and tackle and trim.

All things counter, original, spare, strange;
Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adázzle, dim;
He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change:

Praise him.

This makes me happy 'cause we were just in a zoo this week. :)
And in the story of a wee flying elephant, the babies are only cuter...

viernes, marzo 20, 2009

a toast to toes

I am not much for drawing attention to feet, or at least not to my feet. Less-than-graceful finishes with stubby digits attached, my feet are usually kept well under wraps on formal occasions, and left under the flair ends of jeans on informal ones.

But not today! Today they shine forth with a beauty lavished upon them by my wonderful friend Nancy. Today we see.... toe art!

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, that is my toe you are looking at!! C'est fantastique!!

And to heighten your appreciation for Nancy's amazing toe-adorning skills I want you to know that that flower design was accomplished with the sole instruments of regular nail polish and a toothpick!! Try that Picasso!

So ok, you can tell I'm wowed by her pedicure job (there's one more pic below in case you missed it!), but honestly, if you'd been living with these work-a-day feet for as long as I have, you'd be dancin' too!!

Anyways, good things are happening above my feet as well. Subbing this week couldn't have gone better. I've gotten some great groups of students who were helpful and fun to be with, and even some of the subject matter was stuff I could get into. Yesterday was the high point as I had several periods of Spanish class and was able on multiple occasions to see light bulbs go off and teach students things they never knew before. That, as always, is a rush, and is why I love to teach!

In one sense, subbing is a job full of moments: rowdy moments, silent moments, moments you wish you could save forever. One of my favorite moments so far came a couple of weeks ago. The students were getting settled in class before the bell rang when one of the last students walked through the door. He was, very simply, a small small person and walked with a limp to his spot, which was surrounded by the desks of much larger and more energetic boys. Right away I was worried that they might pick on him and determined to prevent that if possible.

But before I had time to act, they all started to talk and chat about the day. At one point in the conversation the little guy feebly said, "Well, I'm... I'm stupid as mud." He laughed and tried to move on, but the effect was immediate. The faces of the other boys clouded and one of them said, "Hey now! Don't you go around saying things like that about yourself!" It was a priceless moment. They spent the next few minutes explaining how he was, without question, the smartest person in class and urged him to have better thoughts of himself.
I was really struck. When they had the opportunity to hear this guy cut himself down and join in, they did just the opposite - they tried to build him up.

So subbing is full of moments. And though most are times where I simply get to keep doing my job, others remind me of a simple truth. The truth that people, even the unpredictable adolescent ones, will always be people - fallen image bearers of God, but image bearers nonetheless, and in any small way that they reflect Him, unimaginably beautiful and priceless.

God is good
and I love my job
the end :)

lunes, marzo 16, 2009

God is a Sanctuary

Therefore say, Thus saith the Lord God; Although I have cast them far off among the heathen, and although I have scattered them among the countries, yet will I be to them as a little sanctuary in the countries where they shall come. (Ezekiel 11:16)

C.S. Spurgeon: Banished from the public means of grace, we are not removed from the grace of the means. The Lord who places His people where they feel as exiles will Himself be with them and be to them all that they could have had at home, in the place of their solemn assemblies. Take this to yourselves, O ye who are called to wander!

God is to His people a place of refuge. They find sanctuary with Him from every adversary, He is their place of worship, too. He is with them as with Jacob when he slept in the open field, and rising, said, "Surely God was in this place," To them also He will be a sanctuary of quite, like the Holy of Holies, which was the noiseless abode of the Eternal. They shall be quiet from fear of evil.

God Himself, in Christ Jesus, is the sanctuary of mercy. The Ark of the Covenant is the Lord Jesus, and Aaron's rod, the pot of manna, the tables of the law, all are in Christ our sanctuary. In God we find the shrine of holiness and of communion. What more do we need? O Lord, fulfill this promise and be ever to us as a little sanctuary!

viernes, marzo 13, 2009

the feeling

of 2:30 on a Friday

after a good week of subbing

when God has blessed

and driving home

in the sunshine...

is priceless


viernes, marzo 06, 2009

I wept

I really did.

If you never spend another moment on my blog spend your last here. Just the first few minutes or so. Let it play.


miércoles, marzo 04, 2009


Subbed today!


and in other news, was filling out the fafsa this evening and being that I'm past the big veinte uno in age it said this:

"Student's number of family members in 2009-2010?... 1"

Oh well, I know I'm not really a family of one. On top of having the whole body of Christ for siblings I get a flesh and blood family thrown in too! Yippee!! So there, Fafsa!!

martes, marzo 03, 2009

who needs words when you have Beethoven and Beaker??

miércoles, febrero 18, 2009

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da...

Life goes on, brah!

Wow, thought sometimes bails after a good Beatles line (some sort of psychedelic residue inherent in the words??). I should probably take the hint and end the post right here, but... :P

January and February have jointly made some most fascinating months for moi... college was left beind, countries were crossed, conferences were had, and to cap all, it seems that two meteors who merrily orbited their own paths for a while have now collided... we'll see what comes of that.

Yet, inevitably it's Wednesday night, and I refuse to go to bed, and lo and behold... a blog.
The current conundrum seems to be how long Candace can hold out her sanity and decorum and still remain jobless... Today I received word that the Substitute teaching license which I hoped would be here soon is still probably two more weeks out (hopes of sanity and dignity were diminished, children). And the more I thought of it, the more that hatching a sort of Plan B seemed the thing to do. So, being the jobless wordy woman that I am right now...
I made a whole list of plans - haha!

Plan B - go get another job while I wait for my first job to become a job.

Plan C - give up on useful and productive life and successfully memorize every episode of Gilligan's Island ever made. hmmm

Plan D - scrape some money together giving plasma and use the rest of my time volunteering at different organizations around Kokomo.

Plan E - devote my life to
learning 108 ways to cook turnips.

Plan F - renovate my bedroom into a lifelike section of The Pequod from Moby Dick and stump around the house with a harpoon yelling "Avast!!!" at unsuspecting moments.

Plan G - walk over to the library with a wheelbarrow and resolve to read the complete works of Dickens, Milton, Scott, and Joyce
in a week.

Plan H - finish typing this blog, go to bed like a reasonable person, and pick the most reasonable of these to do in the morning (sorry Gilligan...).

Yup, I think I'll do that last one. Tomorrow there will be precious daylight in which to pursue some path.
Tonight, my friends, is simply for sleep and stars...

sábado, febrero 07, 2009

going off

the radar for a few days.

Has happened before...
will happen again.

'nuff said.

jueves, febrero 05, 2009

I wanna see miracles
To see the world change
I wrestled the angel for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
Singing 'Spirit, take me up in arms with You'
And you're raising the dead in me

And if I'm honest, what scares me is that I look in my heart and this is exactly what I don't see. Not this, but selfishness and bitterness, laziness and apathy... coupled with a crippling inability to see the Savior who came to change it all. How it would transform me if I could see Him clearly...

But then I remember what a much better suppliant once prayed:

Lord, I do believe, help my unbelief!

And how he was answered
the spirit rebuked, a son restored, life changed. God incarnate reached down, grabbed his hand, and pulled him up... alive.

Lord, you've been raising the dead in me all along, and tonight I get to worship you just like a father and son did 2000 years ago: afresh, alive, anew.

lunes, febrero 02, 2009

this rocks my world

and should rock yours too...

Jet, Bring It On Back

arg, I tried to embed the video... but it won't let me. Oh well, you can click the link and see it nontheless....

Double arg, apparently you can only see it if you have a youtube account. Anywho, for the record it was a video of the group Jet singing an acoustic version of this song in a London studio. I certainly cannot endorse all of their music (I certainly haven't heard it all). Buuuut this one particular video happened to rock, and I happened to try to share it with you.

Well, there's my succes story for the day.... I'm gonna leave this post up so that at least you can see that I'm still alive and attempting to enjoy artistic experiences. Ciao!

sábado, enero 24, 2009


what are you waiting for???

martes, enero 20, 2009

a hug

for you

miércoles, enero 14, 2009

abroad we go and ho ho ho...


This shall be a post on tea! Or at least, the excessively good times Ben and I had at San Francisco's Japanese Tea Garden, itself an excessively beautiful place.

Note that in the space/time continuum of our trip, this comes nowhere near where I left off... But as Mr. Ben is busy slaying evil bunnies on his compi, and is not inclined to give me the rest of the pics, I had to sabotage my own camera myself and work with what I got.
And this is what I got...

Can we go in???
Turns out we could not, at least not this day, because it took $10 cash (that we didn't have) to get two bums in! But, we were happy to come back another day, and monetarily support this lovely sliver of San Fran. Because...

Skadoosh!!! Coolness was great when we got there!!

This was one of *the coolest* parts of this uber cool place... the Japanese moon bridge! Only the very surefooted, brave, or Japanese should attempt to climb it...

but it was no match for me and Ben!! Yatta!!

View from the top. Sooo pretty!

This was an uber cool little pool-inside-the-rock thing... Spiffy. (that, and I was finally learning some of my camera's focus settings - yeay!)

Fish! Japaneseish colorful fish! (and, er, not for eating either... hopefully...)

I liked the other bridges too, they were made stepping stones placed just far enough to let water through, but also easily crossable by little legs, if necessary.

Hiragana. And no, I can't tell you what it means, other than the fact that the first simbol is a "no" sound... hmmm.

Everywhere bamboo with wooden fences....

A grievous reminder that not everyone is a friend to the gospel in Japan.

Ben wisely suggested that we stop and have... what else? Green tea!! By this time we were hungry enough that the buiskets and snacks provided, though... culturally enlivening..., were devouered hungrilly

at least for the most part...

But it was, by all accounts, a beautiful time, and one of my very favorite on the whole trip.

martes, enero 06, 2009

more picthurs!

We have a site!

Ben poured his precious time into a loverly road trip site which will (more or less) bring you up to date for the past couple of days (with fewer technical errors than mine...)!   Not sure where you can comment, but you're welcome to effuse here on on facebook...

Here ye be!


lunes, enero 05, 2009


Ladies and Gentlemen...

We liiiiive!

That's right! Eight full days after we set out on our intrepid journey, we're still in the land of the living! Needless to say, it's been some trip! But rather than tantalize your imaginations we'll dive right into some photos to let you in on the fabulous adventures of Ben and Cabbage!

Sunday night

Welp, any good trip begins with packings... and this is ours: Can on left, Ben on right.

Meet me in St. Louie!

Since we left at 4 a.m. in the morning we don't have any pictures of the first five hours of travel which Ben manfully and single-handedly drove by himself. Yatta!


Then, since we were by this big arch (silver, and not golden kids) we magically decided to stop.


in which photographic frivolities ensued...

and we basically got to rest our brains.

But no rest for our wheels... California already???

We had landed in Kansas.

But that's ok

Kansas has many memorable... memories.


But really, our first day was a good drive, through some truly lovely land.

And we were glad when it came to an end...

(note: this was *not* actually the end of our journey. Believe us that it was dark when we finally pulled into Colorado Springs. However as we didn't bother taking pictures of the dark and this provides a serene ending to the web log, we will leave your imaginations here...)

Regrettably, in this post I cannot proceed beyond our first day... pictorially at least. But do not fear that more photographic wonders will follow! (ok, I'll admit this first day was no roller coaster ride, and I don't know what the weird spacing is tha blogger is doing... but trust me... it gets better!!)